I had a friend ask me this week why I haven’t written a blog. In February, was my last one all about our trip to New Zealand. But my little brother died pretty unexpectedly in March, and I’m still not OK.
I’ve been crazy busy with the end of the school year, all the testing, grading, projects, and even my two evaluations. There’s also, all of the girls’ projects, and activities, like Raine being in Alice in Wonderland, and Rumi winning first prize in the cross-campus (12 schools) Science Fair. I’m worn out. I’m burned-out. I am not ok.
There is a bit of oddly good news. I’ve gained 10k, my legs and feet were painful and swollen. I’ve generally not been feeling well for weeks. Turns out that I’m getting all the bad side-effects from my blood pressure medicine. My doctor exchanged it and I’m already better. I lost 4k in 3 days, and no painful feet and legs, so that’s all a huge relief because I couldn’t live like that. Still, I’m not 100% ok.
Also, I got us into counselling. Mostly, I needed it for grief, but it didn’t work out that way. It was super expensive and not helpful at all. –clearly. I got prescribed anti-depressants, but I never started them, because the side effects looked much more horrible than my depression.
At the end of the month, we will come to the states. We will see Fourth of July for the first time in 14 years. We will look at some university options, and tour them. Rumi will get her senior pictures (I hope). And, we’ll prepare for moving next summer, even though the girls have expressed a willingness to move right now. We’re all worn out, and we are not ok.
I keep wondering if I’m normal. I haven’t seen anyone go as hard over the death of a sibling as I have. I don’t think it’s normal. I still cry. I’m still angry. I still forget and want to talk to him sometimes. I’ve never been in the front row at a funeral. I don’t know how people keep it together.
I’m glad I could come. For my mom’s funeral, we were locked down. In fact, there were no planes leaving. The girls were so young, I couldn’t leave them by themselves, like I did this time. And I definitely didn’t have extra cash for an immediate plane ticket. Everything that was against me last time, was in my favor this time. Also, I was on the first non-stop flight since COVID. It only took me a bit more than 12 hours to get there.
The whole experience was surreal. It was 88 degrees in Shanghai when I left, and it snowed several inches in Cleveland when I got there. As I didn’t plan the trip, I forgot where I was when I woke up the first three days. I don’t want to talk about the rest of it. I am still not OK.
I don’t think I’ve ever done a year in review, but this year deserves it. Especially since I didn’t blog that much. This year was filled with super high highs and super low lows. A lot more drama and adventure than I am used to. I’ve spent the past week in my pajamas, and looking back, I see why.
We started the year leaving my favorite job at my favorite school going to a new job in a new district. So, we had to move on Rumi’s birthday and we found a great apartment in a great location, that was under-budget because it’s a 6th floor walk-up.
Within a week of working at the new high school, I was let go. It’s the first time I’ve ever been let go. (Well, one time I was laid off). I should say, I was let go because the school I would be teaching at was Canadian, and I need some specific Canadian certificates, that were taking too long to process. Anyway, this was horrible, because I would not have a work visa and could be deported. All I wanted was a good international school for my girls and it was all a huge mess.
Then, I had brunch with my friend, and I was venting to her, and I suddenly got deathly ill. We rushed to the doctor, and it took him a few hours to see that I was having a very bad gall bladder attack. It was worse pain than pregnancy, and my doctor drove me to the hospital.
I had about 2 weeks of health insurance left before everything expired. And I had the same two weeks to find a new job. I went on 4 interviews and 4 demo classes all while waiting for surgery. The doctors explained that a scheduled surgery is way better than an emergency surgery.
My doctor arranged for me to get the best gall bladder doctor in the country, possibly the world. He’s pretty non-invasive and goes through the belly button. I have no scars. I also had a hernia that he fixed at the same time.
The problem was that this teaching position was 4th Grade homeroom (no experience in primary) and it was in a different district which could be 25 minutes to 2 hours by car depending on traffic. Still, they saved me, AND gave me a raise, AND paid for half our summer trip to America.
While waiting for the surgery I got rejected by one job after the other. It was freaking me out. I’ve never been rejected before either. Finally, while in the hospital, I got a call from a school who wanted me. Now this was March, at the end of a school year, and they still wanted me. So, I could go under knowing that my insurance was fine, my salary was the same, and the girls could stay where they were.
So that summer, for the first time in seven years, we went to America. Oh my God! Best time ever! We didn’t expect every single day to be filled with so much activity! What didn’t we do is an easier question than what we did. Six weeks of family and friends we hadn’t seen for seven years, road trips, sight-seeing, and summer fun.
School started on Raine’s birthday, and it’s been a good year so far. Rumi likes and is doing well in all of her classes except math. Raine is the same, but she also joined the soccer team. Both are in extra-curricular art club. And they’ve gotten the best comments from their teachers, so I’m happy.
I am on the 4th floor at school and the 6th floor at home, so stairs have become my enemy. I do get massages regularly, but still my back and legs hurt a lot. Actually, post-surgery things aren’t quite back to normal anyway.
However, this month has been filled with Christmas markets and Christmas parties, (many of which we didn’t go to because of colds/flu). Still our Christmas has been good, and our big present is tickets to New Zealand in January, and we’re all looking forward to that like crazy!
So as the year winds down, we are thankful for so much and we look forward to so much more in 2024.
There’s so much to catch up on, and of course there is good news and bad news. But the bad news is behind us, and the good news in front of us, so let’s focus on that. There’s also, just plain news that is neither good nor bad, it just is.
If you don’t want to hear about female health problems, skip this part, but it was quite the problem for over two weeks. First, can I say, I felt so good in America, all vacation, but since we’ve been back it’s like we’re sick all the time. Anyway, on day 500 of being period free, I started bleeding. I called my doctor immediately, and he set me up with a gynecologist that afternoon. She couldn’t do a lot, but she did do an ultrasound. I will share too much and tell you it was disgustingly messy. Still, they could only conclude that yes, I am post-menopausal, and my endometrial lining was too thick.
After cleaning up, I sat in her office as she said, “Well, since you had cancer from HPV, and you had endometriosis it’s probably uterine cancer.” She just said it, just like that. She didn’t know 100%. And I cried right there. “Why are you crying?” she said. “You’ve been through cancer before.”
Then, they told me, the minute the bleeding stops, to come right in so that they can perform a battery of tests. They said that they didn’t know what was causing it, and it may start again, so I had to come in as soon as it stops.
About eight days later it stopped, and I went right in. This time it was a different gynecologist. She was really nice, not so clinical. After A LOT of poking and prodding, she said everything look perfect, and that they can’t explain it. It’s just a strange anomaly. So, I’m perfectly fine now.
Ok, deep breaths. I guess here in China they tell you the worst first, even if they don’t know.
That was the bad news. The good news is, I was able to get tickets to New Zealand for Chinese New Year. We will be there for about 4 weeks and it will be summer there. We will be looking forward to seeing the Clarks again, and were starting with a road trip all through the north island! We will swim in the ocean, and none if us can wait! Christmas will be sparse, and we won’t be eating out too much this month, but this is such a once in a lifetime opportunity!
We have never gone on a trip during Chinese New Year. We always just stayed in this dead town when everyone else is gone. But we’ll only be here until summer of 2025, so we might as well get every trip in as possible.
Also, I went to both girls Parent/Teacher Conferences. They may not be the best in math —like me, but I never once heard the word “should.” Not one teacher suggested that they should do anything differently. They all said that both were the best participators, they both put their all into everything and they just need to keep doing what they’re doing. I couldn’t ask for more than that!
Also, Raine’s school has developed their first soccer team, and she is goalie, and she did a live painting at an Art Soirée on Friday, which was an all around lovely event. Rumi’s been helping me with my over-whelming amount of work.
I was thinking about something this week. We’ve had the week off. Golden week. It’s the Independence Day combined with Dragon Boat festival. Seven days off.
There’s this weird thing about holidays in China though. Basically, they just move days around so that everyone has the same days off, but you have to “pay” for those days. So, yes, I had seven days off, but then I had to work the following Saturday and Sunday, making my week, seven days in a row. I should be used to it by now, but it still gets me that free days aren’t free.
Anyway, I want to talk about two very “Chinese” days on my holiday. The girls were at youth group camp for three days. Mostly, I didn’t get out of my pajamas, but one day, I decided I would leave my apartment and do something.
It was about 1:15, so as I headed down the stairs, I booked an appointment for a massage at 1:30. There is a fabulous spa three doors down from my gate. I go several times a month. I had the best massage of my life, this time. This place was the best I had been to already, but they outdid themselves Thursday. I should have gotten the name of the guy, so I can only request him every time now.
After that, I was feeling amazing, so I crossed the street to Starbucks and got a Pink Drink. Rumi had gotten one the other day when we went on a very long walk around the neighborhood, and said I should try it. It was a good call.
Then I went next door to our Swiss butcher. It might be our new favorite place. They sell imported meat, especially steaks and stuff, but it’s not frozen. I got the girls hooked on their first steaks ever from here a month ago. They are expensive, don’t get me wrong. Can’t eat this every week or anything, but it’s a nice splurge once in a while. They also have perfect fresh vegetables, and jars and cans of more upscale imported sauces and condiments.
I didn’t want to spent too much on a steak, but all the ones he kept weighing for me were around the $30 mark. I couldn’t justify that. Then he said, “I’ll just cut you one a little smaller.” And he did, the price was good and he gave me some herbs to cook it with.
I went home, made my melt-in-your-mouth steak with mushrooms and some grilled Brussel sprouts, took a shower, and went to my friend’s house for a wine and cheese party. She’s from Canada and cheese is a staple for her. I brought over some olive bread from the butcher, and an unopened. bottle of Prosecco that had been sitting in my fridge from some holiday.
As I was walking from her gate to her apartment, I was watching some videos that the girls sent from camp and it was a practically perfect day.
The next day was my last day of the holiday, Friday. The girls don’t have to go back to school until Monday, but I had to go on Saturday. I am currently teaching in the local stream of an international school. The girls are in the international stream, so that is probably the difference.
I have to eat something for breakfast, because I need to take pills before and after breakfast. I had these addictive, crack-laced Cheerios in America, some sort of Almond Crunch something. I finished by the box I had brought with me two weeks ago, and I’ve been trying to create my own. I add some kind of nut Musli to Cheerios. No concoction has been close yet. This time I tried Nestle Cheerios, and that was the worst attempt.
We had an appointment to get our dog Pumpkin fixed, but then she started menstruating. We’ve been trying to keep diapers on her, but she keeps ripping them off in pieces all over the house.
I needed to pick the girls up at a burger place when they got back from camp around 5pm, and it was only 1pm, so I decided to throw some laundry in, and take a nap. It would be my last nap for a long time. Just as I fell asleep, naked, windows open, maybe sleeping for about 20 minutes, the doorbell rings.
The dogs go crazy. I’m not expecting anything. I can’t find any clothes. I’m yelling at the dogs to shut up while whoever is at my door is incessantly pounding, making the dogs bark louder. I’m yelling at them to wait a minute while still trying to find something to put on. When I answered the door, knowing full-well it was not for me, and I wasn’t expecting anyone, there was a man holding a window.
Raine’s window had shattered –in March. He was just now getting to it. It was currently shattered, but together. Anyway, now is the time he decided to fix it, on a holiday. I guess it was a good thing I was home.
In the course of fixing it, he took the broken window, held it outside, and shook it out. So much glass falling six stories down. I heard him talking to someone so I assumed he had a workmate cleaning it up. Then he took the rest of the glass and shook it out on my hall floor!
As I’m handing him the broom, because it was his mess, there’s another knock on the door. Its our Indian/Chilean neighbor from the first floor. “Are you throwing glass down?” he asked. I told him some man was here fixing my daughter’s window, and he must have done it. (I didn’t know at that time, I just saw him yelling to someone). The man said he was yelling to him from down there.
So we start talking, very nice guy, then he asks if he can talk to the worker, and he does, in Chinese! I know this guy speaks Hindi and Spanish, his English is flawless and without accent, and then he goes and speaks Chinese to the guy. Hats off to you sir. Before he leaves, he promises to invite us to his next barbeque. It does always smell good going past his door, so I’m looking forward to it.
By the time that was over, I was so hungry, so I decided to go to the burger place and have a spiked milkshake until the girls arrived. Then, when the group arrived, I got to sit with some wonderful mothers, and have a lovely conversation about our travels and experiences in other countries. Though it started out sucky for a while, it still turned out well, and that’s what it’s like to live in China.
It’s been such a long time since I’ve blogged, that I actually thought that maybe I might just quit. To be honest, after ten years here, nothing really seems new. It’s all pretty normal –for us.
I realized that when I was seven, my parents moved us to the suburbs (of Cleveland). I spent my whole childhood there all the way until college. In fact, it was “home base” until they moved when I was in my 30s. What I realized is that Shanghai will always be my girls’ hometown. It is where they grew up from toddlers to teenagers. When we leave, it will still always be that for them.
This summer might have been one of my best summers EVER. First, because after more than three years of lockdown, we could finally leave the city. Second, because we took six whole weeks, my longest (away) vacation ever. And third, we saw our family and friends. Some we haven’t seen for four, seven, or even twelve years, and some new ones we got to meet.
I drew out a calendar, so that I could make sure to fit everything in and to not let anything overlap or be forgotten. On the last day, every box was filled with activities and memories. We had three down days, but for the introverted homebodies we are, it was a crazy stretch. The funny thing is, I think my 81-year-old dad expected us to do even more!
Some highlights are: meeting my brother’s new awesome wife, road trips around Ohio with my dad, hanging out with my college roommate and her whole family in Columbus, hanging out with my good friend at all the cool hot spots in Cleveland like the Rock Hall, The Art Museum, and the beach, but also just driving around to old haunts. We did that with my little brother too. Our haunts were different. We flew over to New York to see my step-daughter, and meet my grandson. Spent a week there, with the girls all being sisters, sharing clothes, doing hair and make-up, and she even let Rumi practice driving three times. That weekend, she took us to the girls’ other grandparents. Wow! That was such a shock, I thought they might have a heart attack.
Time with my dadTime with my brother, and aroundTime with RitaTime with JulieTime with Anias and the in-laws.
There were a few SNAFUs. Like I wanted to renew my expired driver’s license, but I didn’t bring my social security card. I had a scan of it, but it didn’t matter. Also, for the first time in my life, we missed a flight (home from New York), but they got us on the very next flight an hour later. They couldn’t have been nicer! –Shout out to United. We missed our shot at going camping (twice) because my poor brother got pneumonia! We ended up visiting him in the hospital instead. Oh, and spending time with his lovely dogs. A funny problem was that both my dad and my brother got me a birthday cake for my birthday. We were eating cake for weeks!
Leaving Shanghai was way harder than coming back. The airport process took no less than four hours. Getting through TSA and all that was ok, but figuring out how to get my new Covid-free health code was almost impossible because the instructions were all in Chinese and the questions didn’t make sense. For example. What country have you visited in the last two weeks? None. I haven’t left Shanghai, China in four years, but I needed to write my home address with a date exactly two weeks before. It took me more than thirty minutes to figure that out, because absolutely no one would help. The lines in Shanghai were crazy long, because EVERYONE was leaving. We were finally free to come and go, and everyone was going. I imagine Shanghai was very quiet this summer. I can’t ask anyone I know because they were all gone too.
We flew from Shanghai to Munich to Newark to Cleveland. My doctor gave me sleeping pills, because I’ve never actually slept on a plane in my life. This time, I slept on both long flights. Munich airport was so weird! It was stark white everywhere. No decorations, no colors, no curves. Like dystopic minimalism, or retro insane asylum. Also, it was 5am and nothing was open, not even our gate. We had to stand at a rope and wait about an hour for someone to open the gate up. I’d heard good things about Luftensa Airline, but I wasn’t impressed at all.
We flew Swiss Air back, with a layover in Zurich and it was all so noticeably better. Add to that, a minor error with United and we got to stay in an airport lounge for free. We chose Zurich and felt special and awesome. It was Cleveland to Chicago to Zurich to Shanghai, and it really was just easier and better.
Another SNAFU, though, was this. When we got back to China we had to get our finger prints scanned in machines. I tried 10 times on 7 different machines and none of them registered me. The girls, on the other hand, had no problem the first time. I remembered when I used to have to clock in at one job with our fingerprint, mine didn’t work then either, and I always had to sign a piece of paper. Anyway, we get to emigration, and I tell them the machines couldn’t read my hands. She tried three times with her scanner, and finally just let me go. I have no idea why my finger prints are so faint.
The three of us have done some soul searching. We really loved being around family. I loved not sweating. Rumi loved the air. Raine loved all the babies and animals.
Some things were weird, like SO MANY advertisements and commercials! For example, my Spotify in China has no commercials, but the same Spotify in America had a commercial after every single song. And China is so much more convenient. Anything you could possibly want is either downstairs in front of our building or can be delivered in record time. And the sticker shock! We went to a convenience store in Ohio and spent $18 on three Gatorades and one candy bar. The same things would be $3 here.
But still, hanging out with family weighed heavily against the conveniences and economic benefits. So we’re trying to decide about leaving China after this year or next, and should we go to America instead of Germany as planned. I didn’t plan on ever going back to America, but this time felt really different.
Do I have some crazy, detailed stories for you! Where to start? *Grabs hair and starts pulling*
Ok, so we moved districts from Pudong to Minhang in February. That was an event in itself. The good thing was that we had an agent who didn’t waste our time. I’ve never had that. We gave her our requirements and budget, and she stuck with them. The bad thing was, it was hard to choose. But we did, and we absolutely feel that we got our money’s worth. It’s big, modern and beautiful. It’s on the 6th floor, but there’s no elevator, which might be why it was ultra-nice and still in budget.
This is not without so many snags here and there. For example, our building is in a complex with about 40 other buildings, however, only our building has one specific WIFI company. You can’t just transfer what you have, we had to change everything. Getting the piano up six flights was interesting. Our shower didn’t work, Raine’s bed broke on the first day. It took a while to sort these things out, but it’s all good now.
As we all know the key to a good place is location, location, location. And this may be the best location in Shanghai. You know how some cities have a Chinatown, or Little Italy, or whatever, this is Shanghai’s Foreign town. All the food, groceries, schools, and foreign things are there. We can walk to the best tacos, burgers, curries, sour kraut or bagels in the city. Plus, our hair salon, doctor, dentist, and the best hospitals are there.
Laowai Jei (Foreigner street)
This is an important detail, because last weekend I had a severe gallstone attack. Pain worse than childbirth. After a huge amount of testing and a long stay in the highest tech hospital that I’ve ever seen, we found out, that 1. My gallbladder needs to be removed. 2. I have a hernia that needs repaired. And 3. There are loose stones clogging my pancreas. Add to all of this a BP of 230/140. (That’s not a typo).
Why is my blood pressure so high? Ummm stress. So a few days before this, my new school told me I was being let go. They said that my attempt to getting my British Columbia Teacher Certificate was taking too long. I was never given a due date. I was told from them and all the other teachers that the whole process can take up to two years. My contract, and our verbal agreement said that I needed to be “in process.” I am currently “in process.”
Then, in this meeting, they told me I had 60 days to find a job. Second semester was in it’s second week. How in the world do you find immediate need in March? Schools are looking for August starts, but by March, most schools have figured things out. I went on a resume sending/interviewing/demo class giving spree. There were two openings down the street from my current school at a sister school who was in desperate need. I nailed everything. But I got turned down. Now things were getting very suspicious and desperate. Then my school said I only had until the 24th.
Clearly, I have a strong court case. I have everything in writing. But that doesn’t help me get paid or get a visa. Then the gallstone attack.
I was having brunch in my neighborhood with a coworker/friend, Busi from my last school, and I just got hit with so much pain. She insisted I go to the doctor. At first, he thought it was and anxiety attack and/or food poisoning. I even threw up several times. Pain killers weren’t touching it. Busi called Raine to bring me a bag, and Raine and Busi stayed with me the whole time. Previous to this, I had always managed medical things by myself. It was nice, but also weird to not have to be alone.
Then my angel of a doctor drove me in his car to the hospital and checked me in. I feel the need to point out that my doctor is not Chinese, he’s Indian. I’ve had him for about 4 years now and trust him immensely. Not that I don’t trust Chinese doctors or anything like that. A Chinese doctor performed a miracle and saved me from cancer. But, I really love my current doctor.
After staying in the ER until 3am, they managed it with medication. Took lots of tests, and sent me home. Their reasoning was that a planned surgery is way better than an emergency surgery. So, they planned a surgery.
My doctor wanted a second opinion because three things need to be done. 1. My gallbladder needs to be removed. 2. My hernia needs to be sutured. 3. The loose stones need to be removed. The first hospital planned surgery was to do the first two and worry about the third later. My doctor (and I) thought the loose stones should be taken first since they were the ones causing the problems and pain. So, he set up a second opinion for me –with the number one gallbladder surgeon in the country.
That specialist agreed with the order of things, and he also agreed to do it. He invented a less invasive procedure that involved one small incision rather than three small ones or one big one. That is scheduled for next Wednesday (22nd), with the pre-op being on the Tuesday before.
While I was at my doctor’s office yesterday for testing, I got a notice that the school I did a demo class for yesterday wants me. It’s another sister school which allows the girls to stay where they are. Salary and benefits should be the same. I’m not sure exactly when I will start there, but I can finally breathe.
Life is full of ups and downs, sharp curves and steep hills. Rarely is there a smooth straight road, but what I wouldn’t give for that, even for a small time. Ah, such is life, I guess.
First: COVID stories. After the protests, the Chinese government decided, “Ok, no rules now.” It was crazy. In school, we all still got tested every day. In the city, we all wore masks in pubic no exceptions, but that was it. Teachers got tested first thing in the morning when they arrived. The results usually showed up on our phones before we left for the day. Our classes were down to about 50% students in class, and 50% at home because of a positive test for the students or someone in the house. And of course, staff was down about 50%
What was weird is that one Friday, I didn’t get my test results. A lot of us messaged on a group chat at 10pm, some did and some didn’t. We didn’t know what was happening. That Saturday morning, still no results. I had lunch and the chills started. I took a hot bath, and the fever and headache started. Then, intense body aches in bed, so bad that I couldn’t sleep. At 3:30, the positive result came back, 38 hours after taking the test. I could have been all over the city. That was a bit suspicious.
I was intensely sick for about 14 days total. Around 5 days into it, both girls got it. I had stayed locked in my bedroom, and I have my own bathroom in there. I wouldn’t even let the pets in. But Raine would bring me tea or broth or something, and never wear a mask. I think she was trying to get it. For them, it only lasted about four days. Sadly, all of us were sick on Christmas. They were better the next day though.
Since China had done away with all the rules, there were no rules of not working. You were “allowed” to work while sick. My principal expected me to teach on-line as early as Monday! She said she “didn’t mind if I just propped myself up and showed a video.” I couldn’t even do that much until Thursday, but the whole idea was insane to me.
By New Years, we were all perfectly fine again. School did not resume in the building though. We continued on-line for the next two weeks which was the end of the semester. We had two in-service days without students where we went to school. Everyone had their own COVID stories to share. We all seemed to get it over the holidays. Those were my last days there.
Our next step as a family was to find a new apartment near the girls’ new schools. Next semester, we thought, (though I’m not sure now) that we might all be in different schools for the first time ever. That will be weird. Though they are all different campuses, they are just blocks from each other.
We found a HUGE, gorgeous apartment that we are all in love with. We saw three great apartments in one day, in one complex. That NEVER happens. They usually wear you down and waste your time showing you six crappy apartments and then one that fits your needs which appears fabulous after all of that. This did not happen. We saw three great ones. One was a bit too expensive. One was in our budget, huge, and lovely, but needed a bit of surface work. And the last one was underbudget, newly remodeled, a lot of attention to details, but…it’s on the sixth floor with no elevator. We took it anyway. It was too good to pass up.
The location couldn’t be better! It’s in between all of the schools, but also, across the street from the girls’ youth group, and on the same street as many of their friends. They will finally have a social life!
You know how in big cities they have areas like Chinatown and Little Italy? This is an area where the foreigners live and hangout. Our doctor, dentist, and hair salon are all there. There are two imported grocery stores right by our gate. I love this neighborhood, so I’m excited to live there. But our apartment also has a HUGE TV with surround sound, so I may not leave that often. And there’s enough room for the three of us to do yoga at the same time if we want.
I believe that I start my new job on February 8 and the girls (and my students) start on the 20th. Because of the holiday, we can’t move until February 2. I had to pay almost double for the movers because of the stairs. Still, its not that expensive since they pack and unpack.
Hopefully, this is our last place that we live and I work in China. After Rumi graduates, we’ll be off to somewhere else. Unless she goes to NYU here in Shanghai.
By the way, I’ll be back to teaching high school English Literature and I’ll be in charge of the yearbook. My school is Canadian, but the girls will be going to the British branches.
Right now, we’re just down-sizing and getting things ready. Everyone we know is some place else, but my work visa is being transferred, so we don’t even possess our passports right now. We would have loved to go to New Zealand to see our friends, but that will have to be some other time.
What I feel most bad about is that Feb. 4th is Rumi’s 16th birthday! 16! And we have no plans. We will have just moved and that’s it. She keeps telling me she doesn’t want anything. And I had to replace her phone before Christmas, so she said that could be her present, but I’ve been thinking about this for a year. I really wanted something special and big. We’ll see what I can drum up with a very limited budget.
Oh, Happy New Year of the Rabbit! Full of Luck and New Beginnings.
These past few weeks have been the absolute busiest days I have ever lived through. They were nearly humanly impossible. For some reason, having parent/teacher conferences, a HUGE charity event where we must provide a class project to auction off, we had a sports day, a third-grade expo, parent observation day, finals, grades and comments are due, among all of our daily duties. Who in the world planned all of this at the same time? Let’s make it worse, they lost our charity project. My co-teacher and I just don’t get along. And I don’t have a single minute to prepare for my new job.
This is the real story of jumping through hoops. For the new job I need to be certified for Canada. Apparently its not difficult, but all the red tape is crazy! I need to apply on a website that sends you endlessly in circles. One Saturday morning, I woke up early to have a conference call with my new principal to do screen sharing. She couldn’t believe how un-userfriendly it was too. We did get somewhere. I’m in the process, but I have no idea how long it will take. Its’ a lot of hoops for a job though.
Yesterday, when I came to work, there were a few surprises. Masks are mandatory. Ten teachers are out with COVID, and eight students in my class elected to stay home. That means I teach online and in the room at the same time.
Our school right now has no first grade, and ninth grade classes, and most other grades are down to 2-3 classes out of 6. I do not know why we are still open. Rumi and Raine are studying online, and I am still at school with half a class.
To make everything worse, we haven’t had a single day off since the first week of October. That’s a long time. We are all pushing it way past the edge. In ten days, the foreign teachers get a week off for Christmas, thank God! Some schools have gone to holiday early because of these huge COVID outbreaks.
I’ve never felt so tired, worn out and pressured. During our winter break there will be no rest too, as we need to pack and move to a different district. We haven’t even looked at apartments yet. We’ve moved six times since we came to China. I did not think we would be moving again. Exhausted is not even the most accurate word.
But on a possibly good note, the Womack family has a strange tradition of opening all of our presents before Christmas. We open them over time so that we appreciate them more. We are currently almost out of presents. I can’t help it. I’m the worst culprit. To get us even more in the mood, we went to a Christmas Market this weekend.
This past weekend, the girls and I decided to chill, the whole time. There were no dentist appointments for Raine. She’s had one every Sunday since the end of September. I’ve had my own things, interviews, and team building events. This is the first weekend with nothing planned. We reserved it for not getting out of pajamas,decorating for Christmas, and binge-watching whatever we want.
On that note, I am IN LOVE with The Larkins. It is the most lovely British show and I managed to watch every episode throughout the weekend. You can imagine my surprise on Sunday evening when I decided to check the news. It was filled with stories of China, and I ended up binge-watching those too.
I live in Shanghai, as you know. I saw or heard of none of this. The video I have seen over and over of Shanghai is the same one. So the protest all seems to be downtown in Xuhui on the corner where the Avacado Lady is. (If you know Shanghai, You know what I’m talking about). They seem to only have one video of this. I understand very clearly why they are protesting. I understand the frustration and fear.
We have had two major city-wide lockdowns and lots of policies implemented, that you may not know about. We have QR codes on our phones, and we must show our green QR codes to enter most public places and to use public transportation. To show our green codes, we have to scan a code. That shows we were there (the mall, restaurant, work, whatever). And if someone is found to get COVID or know or live with someone who has it, everyone who was near you at that place, gets locked down.
This was a problem for me last week. I went on a school tour on Monday. When I came home I got a message that they had a case in school, and the school was locked down. I’m not sure how or why, but it didn’t affect me. My QR code did not turn yellow or red, and I didn’t get a call, so, I’m not sure how I escaped lockdown for that. However, living so close to Disneyland, we have workers in out complex and our building. They had found a case at Disneyland, so our building was locked down for two days, because that worker was there that day.
This was a weird thing. I was at work and I received a text that our building would be locked down at 3:30. So when we got home, we would be locked down. It was just two days, and we had plenty of food and whatever, but we still got snacks on the way home. Actually, it was a nice reset. But trying to teach online to my class, and to those also locked down at home was difficult.
Another thing, you may not realize is that we get tested EVERY SINGLE DAY! Either at work/school or in our complex. They recently changed the policy so that it can be every other day, but this week, I think we’re back to every day again. Your green code has to say you’ve been tested within the past 24 hours.
We don’t wear masks in school, because we are all tested everyday. But masks are required everywhere else. I have noticed at that end of the day, when I’m walking home, less people are wearing masks outside. However, at least fifty percent do, and one hundred percent do in the morning.
Today is the middle school field trip day. Every grade goes somewhere. But there’s some new QR code that needs to be used for these events, and the girls couldn’t access them, so they didn’t get to go. They aren’t sad. It’s a cold and rainy day. They are at home watching movies and putting the Christmas lights up. Maybe even making me dinner. I felt so bad for them, but they really didn’t mind, and the dogs will be happy for the attention.
I handed in my resignation on Friday. I feel sad and sick about it. I had a meeting to renegotiate my contract. I asked them if they could put Rumi in 10th grade, and they said they had no control over it, and couldn’t, so I said that we’ve wasted Rumi’s time long enough and I need to find a school that will take them both.
I had already found a school and been offered a job. But I am giving my current school three months notice, so there is no hard feelings. The whole thing is daunting. I wanted this to be our last place in China. Last year was the best year ever. One big upside though, is we will move to a different district. One that I like much better. It’s where our doctor, dentist, youth group, and favorite places are. I really don’t like Pudong. My complex is wonderful, but the district is old, dirty, and uncomfortable compared to others. If we compare this to Cleveland, this district is like Lorain or Elyria, and Minhang is like Westlake.
Oh, and my housing allowance will double. Right now, I’m paying 9500 RMB for a three bedroom/2 bathroom, and my housing allowance is 6000. There, I believe will pay similar rent, but my housing will be 12,000. I do pay a little extra because we need a pet-friendly apartment.
I’ve been told for the fourth time that they’ve hired someone to take my place in third grade so I can go take care of the library. But I’m afraid with all of this unrest, he may not come. He was supposed to start Friday, but I’m quite sure he hasn’t landed yet (or even gotten plane tickets).
It’s starting to feel a bit more desolate. It feels like the number of foreigners has been cut in half. It feels a bit less welcoming, and a lot more struggleful. (No spellcheck, so it must be a word). I’m torn because I can’t make this money anywhere else, and I only have until Rumi graduates before we have to leave, so I’d like to be able to save before then
I can’t seem to bring myself to blog. For the first several years, I used to be monthly. During the first COVID lockdown, I was biweekly. After my mom died, it’s closer to bi-yearly. It’s cathartic for me, but it was written mostly with my mom in mind as the reader. Of course, I know there are other readers, but that is how I wrote it.
Also, even though I reported on bad or negative things, I tried very hard not to be negative. There were definitely some crazy struggles, but I tried too much to be light, and positive. I’m struggling now –not as bad or crazy as some struggles I’ve had. Certainly, nothing I can’t handle, but I don’t know how positive I can be. I think COVID has done a number on me mentally. I keep seeing things about that on the news, and I feel it’s real.
Okay, so the struggle. Like everywhere, China has a big shortage of teachers, specifically Foreign Teachers. In a way this is good for me, because schools will pay top dollar for us now, fight over us, and treat us even better to encourage us to stay in China. I heard an estimated 50% of foreign teachers have left China during or after the last lockdown this past spring. It seems high. It’s noticeable, but maybe not that high.
The problem is that my school was short three to five teachers at the beginning of the year, and they took three foreigners who were not teachers and put them in that spot. I am one of those displaced people, and they put me in third grade. I’m in hell. I am NOT a primary school teacher. I have never been, nor would I ever want to be. I went to this school because I didn’t want the stress of being a teacher. I wanted to be a full-time librarian. I don’t want to make lessons plans and make sure kids line up, and check homework, and every other duty a homeroom teacher needs to attend to.
Last year, I was a full-time librarian. It may have been the best year of my working life. I loved it so much! And I loved my co-librarian, and the girls loved their teachers and their extra classes and everything was absolutely perfect –way better than I expected.
This year, they didn’t tell me that I would be teaching third grade until the first day of school. In addition, they said they don’t pay for 10th-12th grade, so they put Rumi in ninth grade again, and with the teacher shortage the girls don’t have beginning Chinese anymore either. Meanwhile, no one is manning the library and it’s wrecked! I AM NOT happy. I am so very not happy.
Three times, they have told me they hired a third grade teacher, and I will be able able to go back to the library. Three times, this has fallen through for one reason or another. I have lost my voice, gotten horribly sick, and my feet hurt everyday. I don’t want to be a primary teacher.
Now, there are gobs of jobs available right now, even though the school year started. I’ve interviewed for three and gotten them. But there’s another problem. Can I break my contract and leave without a court battle like last time? I don’t think that they will take losing me lightly, since, in reality, they are losing two positions.
In other news, I have a few observations. One, everyone raves about Rumi and Raine. I mean they are good and I really have no problems at all, but its weird how in one day, the physics teacher told me again (on the daily) how much she loves both of the girls. Last year she wished Rumi was her daughter, and this year, she had no idea her sister was as awesome. Then there’s their Chinese homeroom teachers, parents at our friends’ child’s birthday party, the guys who do my hair, my doctor, our dentist. Raine often helps the first-grade teachers in her free time, and I’ll get a text. Everyone makes a point to say something, and I hear it from different people an average of three times a day. It makes me feel wonderful. I’m not having those horrible teenage years everyone talks about.
Another thing that I’ve noticed is that we are crazy tired, like abnormally tired all the time. When I was in school, I did stuff afterwards, before dinner and after dinner. I went on dates, to football games, to the mall or McDonalds, over a friend’s house. I wasn’t tired. The girls and I drag ourselves home by 4:30, eat, and go to bed. Its sad. I don’t know if that’s a COVID leftover thing, a 53 year-old-I shouldn’t-be-a-primary-school-teacher-thing or what, but I hate it.
Raine on her second or third root canal. Rumi had to take her this time, because I was horribly sick with some stomach flu that made me severely dehydrated and feverish.
Last Sunday, I took the girls shopping. We bought books, clothes and had burgers. I made us do something, and it was fun, but mostly, my feet hurt so bad. I can’t do something like that after work, and they just want to sleep. But we don’t even watch TV. I did buy some games and made us play after dinner a few times, but this just not feel normal.
Books make us happy!
So, as you can see, it’s been a bit of bleak time. I’m not sure if there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I find out on Monday if a high school that we all particularly like, will offer me the head librarian position that is opening up next month. I had the interview, we toured the school. We all loved it, but Raine would go to the middle school on a different campus very nearby. Rumi can graduate, and I would strictly be librarian. We especially love it because about thirty percent of the students are foreign, and the girls even have friends who go there. But also, we LOVE that neighborhood! It’s where our doctor, dentist, hairdresser, the girls’ youth group, and a few favorite restaurants are.
I also should mention the COVID crisis hasn’t ended. We get tested everyday. And school, it’s first thing. At home, there are announcements on bullhorns rounding everyone up. We still wear masks in public, even outside, except not in school, because we a tested everyday. And there are still lockdowns, not by neighborhood, but by building, except, unlike last time, we hope for them, because we wouldn’t have to leave home.
I haven’t been able to bring myself to say this all “out loud,” but also, I vacillate between crazy busy, and drained. We had a nice summer. We went to hotels, we hung out, they went to camp with about 200 foreign kids. China is still good, it’s just my current situation that is really messing me up.
Smiling in Shanghai 